Every year since my 23rd birthday, I’ve written blog posts about my hopes and dreams for the year.
This year, however, I chose to skip it. Why? Was it the impending doom of my transition from my mid to late twenties? Perhaps. Was it because I thought I’d be farther ahead in my life at 26? Maybe. I think the genuine answer is because I’m not quite sure what to expect from the last four years of my twenties before the dreaded 30 approaches.
I don’t want to pin all these expectations on the next few years because if life has taught me anything, it’s that the best things in life are always the unexpected ones.
25 was a fantastic year for me. In many ways, it completely turned my life upside down. I got a brand new job in a metropolitan city, made a great group of friends easily and genuinely enjoyed every moment of my LA experience.
But after a year, the novelty fades and the routine sets in. And that can be nice too. I’m lucky to have a great job I enjoy, friends I genuinely love and chats with my family every night. And in the near future, I’ll likely be enrolling in a PhD program if all goes well, which will be an exciting new adventure!
But, I’ll admit adulthood can get rough sometimes. The biggest shock of it is that you are responsible for your own life, your own decisions, and the outcomes of said decisions. After a hard day, there’s no one waiting with balloons and a cake saying “Congrats! You crushed it at life! Way to go!”
Friends, family and dates can only hype you up so far. The truth is it solely lies upon you to truly believe what you bring to the table and cheer yourself for the big and especially the little wins!
In my family, I’m one of the few who chose to venture out of the home early for college, continue to stay in a foreign country as I navigated my work and education, and live on my own. Everyone else who did it either chose to return home after completing their studies, or get married and get settled abroad with their families. This means that there isn’t a life path I’m emulating, but more so that I’ll have to figure it out as I go.
Independence can be incredibly freeing in many ways, but also bring its own challenges. Unlike most people who have the luxury of learning how to drive with a family member in tow, I had to navigate countless hours of driving with a driving instructor, with friends and, later by myself by psyching myself up to go on solo drives. To this day, it’s still the most terrifying thing I do. But that feeling of cruising down the roads in my own car is unparalleled. No longer am I a passenger in my own life.
Then there’s the big questions that keep popping up: what do I want to do with my life? What’s my dream career path? What will I do once I graduate from my PhD in my early thirties? Will that be too late? Who will I end up with? What kind of a person do I see myself with, if any? Do I even want to have kids and if so, when? Will I ever be completely comfortable driving and when will I get on the freeway? Do I want to stay in LA for the foreseeable future or does my destiny lie in another city or perhaps, another country?
Sometimes, these questions loom over me like a constant ticking pendulum over my head until they’re all I can think about. I’m not alone in these feelings, my other friends in their mid-to-late twenties assure me. They’re all dealing with their own ups and downs of the twenties, and that urban tribe I’ve formed has been a great source of comfort over the years.
While the empathy helps, at the end of the day I’m the only one responsible for “the life of Apps.” And at 26, isn’t a life is meant to already be well-lived? Or maybe that’s just youthful folly.
When the worries get too much, sometimes the easiest thing to do is play some music, journal and dance around my room, reminding myself I’m only this young and this free once in my life. If I worry my life away, there won’t be any left!
So, for 26, the only goal I’m setting for myself is to keep the faith that my life will unfold the way it is meant to and keep taking intentional and meaningful action to make it happen.
I love that I get to do life on my terms and that the past six years have been a time of self exploration, connection building, enriching educational and professional experiences and more importantly, building a community of people I love, admire and respect. And I’m grateful for my friendships, my newfound skills, and the multiple lives I’ve lived.
I would love to have a book magically fall down from the sky and detail exactly how my life went, and what decisions were the right ones, but where is the fun in that?
“Maybe I should just run away eventually in the next few years, and move to Bali and just start my own fruit farm and live in a hut in complete isolation,” I half-jokingly pondered to a friend of mine.
He rolled his eyes and said, “Yeah right, you wouldn’t be happy doing that. You like people, you like connection and you like the adventure of your life.”
I definitely do. But sometimes, being dramatic helps!
So, to every 26-year-old out there, I say: enjoy the scenic route to your life. Don’t rush to find the answers, because sometimes the questions that arise in your life can mean more than whatever solution you can conjure up. Celebrate the little joys and embrace the messiness of the journey, because they make for the best stories!
I’ll be back for 27.
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